A life of service given to others whether through good times or bad
Mary Buie wore many hats through her 78 years, but nearly all were worn in service to her family and her community. As a Girl Guide, 4-H leader, nurse, midwife, community activist, church warden, Welcome Wagon organizer (both official and unofficial), actor, singer, steadfast friend and confidant, Ms. Buie sometimes seemed to be a veritable force of nature—unflappable and indominable—and even the aggressive form of cancer that eventually claimed her life could not keep her down while she had breath to take.
Ms. Buie was born in Horley, England as Mary Patricia Coomes, where she first became active in Guiding, something that would hold a special place in her heart throughout her life—serving in the upper organizational levels of Guiding as well as at the grassroots. The then-Ms. Coomes was trained as a nurse and midwife in England before being recruited by the Canadian Red Cross to serve in a remote hospital on Manitoulin Island. In 1969, as a 25-year-old nurse, she boarded the liner Empress of England and set sail for an adventurous life in the new world.
It was while working at the hospital in Mindemoya that the young nurse first met the man who would be the love of her life. John Buie had recently returned to Manitoulin and was injured in a bad snowmobile accident. Mr. Buie claimed his soon-to-be wife was drawn to him by his secret weapon, a box of chocolates he kept by his bedside.
It was obviously more than just candy that pulled the young nurse to Mr. Buie’s side, as she would often arrive on horseback to his hospital window. Eight months later they would be wed in England. Settling eventually in Kagawong and going on to raise three children, Neil, Robert and Jennifer.
Son Neil Lawrence (he took his wife’s name upon marriage) said his mother “celebrated life and felt that there were moments in life that definitely called for celebration.”
“When my friends and I were getting off the bus for a birthday, mom would meet us with horse and cutter, a big sleigh, and we would tie our sleds to the back of the cutter,” recalled Mr. Lawrence. When someone fell off their sled, it was up to them to catch up. “It was a magical part of my childhood,” he said.
Another memory was also shared by son Rob Buie. “Mom would bring Beaver (their horse) down to the beach in Kagawong, back when you could do things like that, and he would be tied to the tree, eating grass,” he recalled. “Beaver would find the snack time interrupted by pony rides.” Mr. Buie also has fond memories of the cutter-assisted sled rides.
“She was amazing,” said daughter Jen Cichon, “she never sat still.” Ms. Cichon recalled her mother taking her to Africa when she was 20, Africa being one of the destinations on Ms. Buie’s bucket list. “It was an 11-day safari.” Ms. Buie would later travel to Hawaii, another destination on her bucket list, cancer not being able to quell her travel bug.
“Mom was super supportive,” said Ms. Cichon. “We were definitely not ‘upper class’ and mom had to work a lot of hours, but she made sure that we never went without. She wanted us to have different experiences and wanted us to have our minds open to other parts of the world. She knew the world was a pretty big place and felt that we should see it.”
Ms. Buie was very busy while her children were growing up, but Ms. Cichon said she and her mother became even closer when she had grown up. “She was my best friend and advisor,” she said. “It was very handy having a mother who is a nurse you could call up and ask ‘the kids have a rash, what should I do?’”
Ms. Cichon’s daughter, Brooke, 8, recalled her grandmother as “fun, kind and artistic.” She cited the family tradition of baking peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. The grandchildren had a wonderful time this past Easter, when, in a bit of a twist, they hid eggs around the property for their grandmother to discover.
Grandson Sebastien, 12, Mr. Lawrence’s son recalled his grandmother’s unsinkable positivity. “She liked to help people get through hard times,” he said. “Even when she was having a rough time, she was always up for a game of Squirrels.” Sebastien explained that Squirrels was a family favourite card game. “She would always try to make things fun. She was always there for us.”
Ms. Buie would share stories with the children about her experiences as a midwife, recalled Sebastien. “She always thought of others before herself,” he said.
“Mary was one of the midwives who helped bring my daughter Hanako into the world,” said Jane Hubbard. “There were so many reasons that I felt a special connection with Mary. It wasn’t long after I arrived on the Island that I found out that I was pregnant—a daunting situation as a newcomer and an older first-time mother. Mary was warm, welcoming and knowledgeable and her British accent reminded me of my own mother’s and that was comforting to me. She was also great friends with my late mother-in-law and knowing that they had a strong connection was grounding. After my daughter was born, we would take part in Mary’s annual ‘Babies’ gatherings which were joyous events that brought together mothers and babies who Mary and her midwives had welcomed into the world. These were always joyous occasions with the ever-ebullient Mary always ready to catch-up with ‘her babies.’”
Ms. Buie left her grandchildren with an important bit of career advice. “If you don’t enjoy your job, you will have a hard life,” recalled Sebastien. “Do something you love—life is too short to be wasting your time on something you do not enjoy doing.”
“Mary was an inspiration to many members of our community,” said Billings Mayor Bryan Barker during a tribute given at the council meeting following news of her passing. “She had a background in nursing and midwifery and often referred to herself as the village nurse. She was a tireless volunteer and was the first recipient of Manitoulin’s Vivian Levinsohn Award for volunteerism. Mary was a long-time devoted and reader for the Anglican Church in Kagawong and she enthusiastically participated in many events within the community, her positivity and kindness were evident in all that she did and everyone she touched.”
“I think a quote in The Manitoulin Expositor by Mary said it all, ‘even small gestures can make profound impacts on the lives of many, such as calling lonely people in the community to see how their lives are going and to show that people care’,” said Mayor Barker. “Mary was a shining light in our community and will be missed.”
“Mary was such a well-loved community minded individual whose positive attitude inspired us all and even more so as she battled cancer,” said Algoma-Manitoulin-Kapuskasing MP Carol Hughes. “I always enjoyed my conversation with Mary who loved to share how passionate she was about helping the less fortunate and promoting peace. I and so many others who were blessed to have met Mary will remember her for the kind, caring and passionate person she was. Deepest condolences to her family and all those she touched.”
When she discovered that she had an aggressive form of cancer, Ms. Buie reached out to The Expositor to inquire as to whether this newspaper would partner with her on a series, ‘Following Hope’s Path,’ documenting her battle and educating others as to what could be expected when engaged in that fight for survival. Former Expositor staffer Robin (Burridge) Anderson took on the task of chronicling that first engagement—which proved successful.
Several years later, the aggressive cancer returned, and Ms. Buie once more reached out to The Expositor to re-start the series. Once all traditional routes had been exhausted, Ms. Buie was enrolled in an experimental drug regime that proved successful in shrinking her tumours for several months. She remained steadfast in both her own struggles with chemotherapy and drug therapies, and with her determination to use her experiences to assist others in dealing with cancer.
“It was an honour and a privilege to work with Ms. Buie on the reinvigorated series,” said Expositor writer Michael Erskine. “Mary shared her ups and downs, the ins and outs of her treatment, but not all of her experience made it into the series—cancer can grind down even the most indomitable of spirits.”
“The final months of her illness were extremely challenging,” shared Mr. Erskine, “especially the isolation brought about by her inability to catch her breath.”
Ms. Buie was a familiar sight to the residents of Kagawong, as she went on her many walks and visits to people in the community. Writer and one-time resident of Kagawong Bonnie Kogos recalled how kind Ms. Buie was to her when she moved into the community. “She was one of the leading ladies of Kagawong and fierce and wonderful in how she handled so much of the constant medical challenges,” said Ms. Kogos. “What a lovely, brave and charming woman.”
(Ian Anderson) during a Journey to Bethlehem
performance. One of her countless volunteer efforts. Ms. Buie was the inaugral recipient of the Vivian Levensohn award, chosen by namesake Ms. Leveonsohn herself.
Even in the last couple of days of her life, Ms. Buie was working on the next instalment of Following Hope’s Path,” but alas, even the most stalwart of warriors must eventually fall. In foresight of the end that had by then become inevitable, Ms. Buie worked with Mr. Erskine on her last message to her friends on Manitoulin and across the globe while she was still able.
Ms. Buie was a woman of deep faith and she maintained a strong belief in the wisdom and mercy of her God onto her last breath—it was a faith that sustained her in her darkest hours.
Perhaps one of the most telling comments Ms. Buie made in those final weeks, a comment she shared with a number of people, including this writer, demonstrates her spirit and focus on getting things done. “I am having so much fun planning my funeral,” she said. “I just wish I could be there.”
In the end, Ms. Buie was there, and not only in the spirit and the hearts of those who loved her. As friends and colleagues from the Island Singers, Manitoulin Community Choir, Burns Wharf Theatre Players gathered for her celebration of life at the M’Chigeeng Community Centre, Ms. Buie was onscreen, having been recorded during rehearsals via Zoom, singing joyously with all her heart.
Ms. Buie has begun her spirit journey, but a part of this most remarkable of individuals will live on in the memories of her community, her friends and her family.
