LITTLE CURRENT – The man at the front of the hall in the Manitoulin Hotel and Conference Centre is pacing slowly back and forth on the stage while a room packed with men of all ages hangs on his every word. Theoren (Theo) Wallace Fluery, elite hockey player, author, musician and public speaker knows a lot about seeking wellness and recovering from trauma—in his own words he has blown his way through some $50 million, battling drug and alcohol addictions to come out the other side a lot poorer, but arguably much wiser.
The Mnaamodzin Health Services Men’s Wellness Conference was an outstanding success despite the reputation of men being less open to dealing with issues of mental health.
“Men still have a stigma attached to talking about mental health and are reluctant to come out,” said conference coordinator and Mnaamodzin Allied Health Manager Rebecca Milne, who said the conference organizers were ecstatic over the turnout. “It’s been great,” said Ms. Milne. “It’s been awesome. I felt bad because I had to turn some people away because we were full up.”
The Mnaaamodzawin Health Services team included mental health clinician Paul McDonald, allied health manager Rebecca Milne, Mnaamodzin executive director Craig Abotossaway, Elaine Milne, mental health worker Jackie Allan and mental health councillor Carly Valient. “It’s been a real team effort,” said Ms. Milne.
Undoubtedly the main draw for the event was the man on stage.
Born in 1968 Mr. Fleury grew up to play for the Calgary Flames, Colorado Avalanche, New York Rangers and Chicago Blackhawks of the NHL, as well as a number of international teams. Between 1989 and 2003 he played over 1,000 games in the NHL to hold 61st place in all-time scorers. In 1989 Mr. Fleury hit the absolute pinnacle of being in The Show—winning the Stanley Cup with the Calgary Flames.
Not so bad for a little guy they said was too small to make it into the NHL. Oh, and then there was that Olympic gold medal.
Aside from his hockey accomplishments, Mr. Fleury has also been awarded the Canadian Humanitarian Award and the Queen’s Jubilee Medallion, has operated a concrete business in Calgary, filmed a pilot for a reality television show, marketed his own brand of clothing and played two pro baseball games for the Calgary Vipers of the Golden Baseball League.
Aside from his addiction issues, in 1995, Mr. Fleury was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease—his annual charity golf tournament has helped raise more than $1 million for the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of Canada.
His first book, a best-selling autobiography ‘Playing With Fire,’ launched Mr. Fleury into the middle of a media firestorm as in it he accused his junior coach, Graham James, with sexual abuse. Mr. Graham was eventually found guilty and incarcerated.
Mr. Fleury traces his addiction to alcohol to that abuse—an introduction that he said stopped his maturation in its tracks.
“They say the day you start drinking is actually the day you stop maturing, and then when you get sober, you start at that age and then move through that,” said Mr. Fleury. By his reckoning he is only 30, not 51. He started to mature again once he stepped away from his addictions.
Mr. Fleury was at his most engaging when taking audience members back through the seminal instances in his life that helped develop his spirituality.
One such story revolves around his spirit animal, the frog, which he discovered while visiting a small First Nation community in British Columbia and a series of ancient stone sculptures bearing the images of various dodem animals. He found an affinity with the frog, which through a series of events over the next year was to have a significant impact on his family.
“Did you ever see a frog jump backwards?” asked his guide. “I had to admit I hadn’t,” said Mr. Fleury. “A frog can look left or right,” explained the historian, “but can never hop backward.” Mr. Fleury now has a frog tattooed on his arm. “The frog is me,” he said. “I can look left, I can look right, but I can never go backwards.”
While at a sweat lodge in downtown Winnipeg (“did you know there was a sweat lodge in downtown Winnepeg?” he asks the audience in an aside), a frog wandered into the entrance. Relating the story to the elder, he was asked if anyone in his family suffered from asthma. Startled, he admitted that indeed his daughter did have asthma. The elder advised him to place a turtle on his daughter’s chest. Mr. Fleury did and his daughter no longer suffers from asthma.
Attendee Ron Abbott is a devote Fleury fan, not due to his hockey prowess, but because of his inspirational work with those suffering from trauma and addictions. “He is an outstanding man,” he said. “I got a lot from his talk, I also got a copy of his book.”
Mr. Abbott said that he is in his fifth year of recovery, having enrolled in Toronto’s Gatehouse program in 2014.
“I was sexually abused when I was a little boy,” he said. He spent years angry and lashing out. “I ran up the steps of the Gatehouse and cried ‘help me.’ My recovery started then.”
Mr. Abbott described the anger inside him as being “like a balloon” and the program taught him how to let that pressure out safely. He has been through the phase one program twice and the phase two program three times. Talks like those of Mr. Fleury’s add to his arsenal of self healing.
According to Mr. Fleury, one in two girls and one in three boys falls victim to unwanted sexual advances before the age of 18. “It has become clear that Canadians must rally together to take a stand against childhood rape,” he said.
Mr. Fleury is a champion of the Breaking Free Foundation’s (BFF) Victor Walk, a powerful grassroots movement and nationwide awareness campaign focused on childhood trauma and healing.
He describes himself as a “victor” and he said that he seeks to help others become a victor. “When a survivor reveals to a trusted confidante or counsellor the rape they suffered and seeks help for the pain, they shed all shame, they hope and dream again and they see a viable future for their lives despite the past—they are now victors,” he explains. In addition to providing online support for people healing from trauma, the organization provides “a safe space for people to share their stories. Perhaps the biggest mission of BFF, however, is to ensure everyone has access to trauma therapy, despite their economic status.”
Mnaamodzawin Health Services can be reached at 705-368-2182. The mental health hopeline can be reached at 1-888-673-9419. If you or anyone you know are in crisis or need someone to talk to, please reach out. There is no stigma, only the first step on a healing journey.
