No matter how long ago the loss seems like yesterday
To the Expositor:
What is it like being a mother impacted and living with the loss of a child to a workplace fatality? I am one of thousands of moms who are living a life everyday with a fragmented family, a life forever changed. My son Brent Wade, working in Guelph, went to work Tuesday morning, November 9, 1999 and never came home. He was to arrive here in Sheguiandah, to our family home, on November 12, to introduce us to the new love of his life. “Mom, I think she is the one.” He had shared with me such happiness and what he hoped to do in his near future. He was bubbling with enthusiasm and excitement. But for him there was no tomorrow, no second chance. His death was sudden, unexpected and completely out of sync. No mother or parent wants to receive this horrific, heart wrenching news. Parents should not out live their children.
Everyday we read the newspaper headlines alerting us to yet another workplace fatality. In 2014, 919* workplace deaths were recorded in Canada, up from 902 the previous year. This represents more than 2.5 deaths every single day.
In the 20 year period from 1995 to 2014, 18,039* people lost their lives due to work-related causes (an average of 918 deaths per year). The stats tell the story. This is unacceptable. We are still not being as successful as we should be in our health and safety efforts to prevent or at the very least reduce the number of workplace tragedies from occurring.
Each person living with the outcome of a workplace tragedy be it a fatality, a life altering injury or an occupational disease are living a life completely foreign to the one they knew. Seldom do we think of how this loss has affected the family as a whole.
We are bombarded each day by so many tragedies in the world we have become immune to them and in a sense it may be a protective mechanism for our own healthy survival. Seldom are we aware nor do we think of the story behind the faces of those living with the outcome of workplace tragedies.
For me, that day, almost 16 years ago, so long ago and yet like yesterday, so much of me died along with Brent. My heart was forever severed. My life forever changed. Everyday there are reminders of the life I lost when he was killed and of the life he never got to live. He should have been there for his sisters’ weddings, to meet his bother-in-laws, to meet and enjoy his niece and nephew, to get married and enjoy the fruits of his own life. You do not realize how much of your happiness, dreams and aspirations are centered around those of your children until one day they are killed and with them so much of your future is shattered.
I look out at my garage, one of his favourite places to be, and it is so empty without him, his bedroom so lonely for him. All his tools and belongings sitting there idle. So many times have I questioned what is life all about? There is a constant emptiness surrounding my everyday life that no one could ever see or comprehend unless you are one of us that belongs to the “Community of Loss.”
Every time I am together with my siblings and family I am so aware and feel his loss. Every celebration through out each year is a reminder. I go Christmas shopping, I look for cards for different occasions and there is one for “Son.” All I have left is pictures, memories, and hopefully the stories family and friends will share with his sisters and I.
Yes, my life has gone on and I have learned to cope through the love and understanding of family, friends, my extended family, the Threads of Life members, and the sharing and caring of Chrissy and Laura, my two wonderful daughters. But life is always the bittersweet.
Our workers are the backbone of society. We need to recognize the sacrifices they have made to improve health and safety in our workplaces. With each death, each life altering injury, each occupational disease incident hopefully there have been recommendations made to prevent the same tragedy from reoccurring, making our workplace a safer place.
My story is very different from those who have lost a parent or a spouse or are living with the outcome of a life altering injury or occupational disease where the person is living in pain everyday and the family’s financial status has drastically changed and added to the many challenges facing them on a daily basis.
With my story I hope I have inspired you or at least increased your awareness of the importance of taking time out of your day, on April 28, to pay tribute to our workers and to remember them and their families. On this day the Canadian flag on Parliament Hill will fly half mast. Workers will light candles, don ribbons and wear black armbands and observe moments of silence. Please join me. Let us stand together and celebrate their lives.
Joanne Wade
Sheguiandah
